Caring for Siblings When It Gets Hard

What’s up friends?! It’s Fe here taking over Eliana’s new blog! 

Don’t tell her I snuck in and published something. 

I just have some things I really really wanted to talk about with y’all today – siblings. More specifically, how to love and care for ‘em especially when it gets hard.  

Especially when they eat the last chicken tender or french fry. I know. I know. I won’t even talk about it any longer! xD 

Ok, I’ll be serious now. Let’s dive in! 

*Oh and Eliana knows I’m here. If anyone is worried about that. Just trying to be funny. Did it work? 

Start a Gratitude List

Sometimes, siblings push our buttons. They know what makes us tick, what makes us happy and what makes us mad. They know us more than most people. 

Because we know our siblings well, it’s easy to take them for granted. It’s easy to blame them for leaving their shoes in the hallway for you to trip on them. (“No, it was an accident!” Hmmm…) It’s easy to see how they “forget” to wash the dishes. Or “forget” to remind you that their friends are coming over. It’s easy to see how they leave their music on too loud or take the TV remote before you get a turn to watch. 

But how about the countless times they’ve helped you with laundry? Or algebra homework? Or inspire you with new story ideas? How about the crazy fun sing and dance sessions in the living room? 

How about the time your siblings were just themselves and they brought so much light and laughter to a room you couldn’t help but smile? Maybe it was a joke. A funny story. A meme. A song! 

Write it down. Genuinely feel grateful. Sure, they may annoy you sometimes. But don’t dwell on it too much. 

Dwell on how God wonderfully created them. See Jesus in them. See the good in them. 

Pray for them

I believe Eliana’s written a blog post about praying for our siblings before. Hold up. Let me get the link.

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Okay here you go: https://elianathewriter.com/2019/08/praying-for-siblings-3-things-to-remember-in-your-prayers/

This one is pretty simple. Pray for your sibling(s). Allow God to work through them. It’s tempting to try and “fix” everything ourselves but God is the one in the heart-changing business – not us. 

Also, in their hardest moments it’s tempting to just tell them what to do. But maybe the most effective way is to just sit there with them offering them a shoulder to cry on. And maybe if they’re open to it, asking them how you can pray for them and how they want you to help. 

Forgive, Forgive, and Forgive

“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:14-15‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Now, I’m not trying to scare you here. God is forgiving, slow to anger, and abounding in love! I think He wants us to be like that. To be more like Him. Because He values forgiveness, He wants us to value it too. 

Because He first loved us, we love others. 

If you still live with your siblings, you see them all the time. Like I mentioned earlier, they know your buttons. Sometimes, they’ll push them accidentally. Or even purposefully. 

And that hurts. 

But since God loves you and forgives you, won’t you at least try? 

I don’t know everything you’re going through but I do know that God is patient and willing to teach us how to forgive. 

Do a simple act of kindness. 

Let me tell you a story. There was once a town called Stratusburg. In this town, two feuding families lived for centuries. The Ellis and Freids. They fought for so long it was just tradition. When little kids ask their parents why they can’t play with the other kids, the parents would respond, “It’s just how it’s always been. 

Until the postman came along. 

The postman was on a mission to get 6,000 letters from Stratusburg. The only problem was that NOBODY wrote letters there! 

So he devised a plan where kids would write letters asking Klaus (his brilliant woodworker/toymaker friend) for toys. And he told them that only good kids got toys, not the naughty ones. 

The kids went crazy–in the best way. They started being kind to their neighbors. Especially to the ones on opposite sides of the feud! They shoveled driveways, picked berries, did chores for a single mom, and so much more all for people they weren’t supposed to like. 

And guess what? 

The adults followed. 

One by one, families on both sides of the feud stopped fighting. The one whose berries were picked for her baked the kids a pie. The one whose driveway got shoveled built the kids a playset. Eventually, the two clans became friends! They had book clubs and cook-outs and dances and sing-alongs and brunches. (Let’s not forget about the brunches! xD) 

Long story short, be kind. You never know if you can start a chain reaction. Let it start with you. 

Also, that story is totally from the movie Klaus. 

Here is another story if you’re not convinced yet: 

One morning, I decided to make my sister’s bed and put her clothes away. It just seemed like a cool thing to do. Plus, I had been reading Love Does by Bob Goff. It convicted me to show my love that day not just say it. 

When she saw her room, she thanked me! Then she asked, “Why?” I just said, “Love does. “ 

I left it at that and went throughout the day. 

Later in the day, after tennis practice, I was feeling a bit upset. It was one of those days you know? 

But when I got home, I saw that my room was cleaned up! My books were set aside, my bed made, and the floor swept. When I saw her, she yelled, “Love does, baby!” 

I couldn’t stop laughing. 

I didn’t expect my sister to do that for me. I simply wanted to show my love! But that selfless and simple act of kindness started a chain reaction. 

Let it start with you. 

Have Fun! 

Go on a wild adventure at the park or backyard! Play with your imagination and let loose! Do each other’s nails or play video games. Siblings are a great gift from God. Let’s enjoy them! 

Thanks for letting me get some airtime, Eliana! Honestly, I don’t have my siblings all figured out. A lot of these pointers were some very hard lessons for me to learn. 

But we’re growing and learning to be patient with each other. That’s all that matters right?

I hope my ramblings were helpful…  I hope that you were encouraged to pray for your siblings, forgive them, be kind, and, last but NOT least, have fun with them! 

See ya next time! 

Fe

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Wow, those were some awesome tips, and I’m definitely going to have to try them out! Thank you so much, Fe, for sharing your wisdom with us!

I also had the pleasure of popping on to Fe’s blog, the Unshaken, so be sure to go check that out!

“Three Tips to Manage Your Time Wisely”:

https://theunshaken.blog/three-tips-to-manage-your-time-wisely/

What Do You Think?

Did Fe do an awesome job or what? Which of the tips did you find the most helpful? What tips do you have for being a good sibling?