I have journaled on and off in many short bursts throughout my life. My closet holds some angsty diaries from my teenage years. Prayer journaling has sometimes been a helpful way for me to express prayers to God. I own many notebooks filled with random notes, to-do lists, and outlines from church sermons.
This summer was my most consistent stretch of journaling yet, as I was required to write a page and a half about my study abroad experience every day. It wasn’t easy but I found it very valuable to record my trip in this much detail. I even shared a few quick-and-messy London blog posts since I had so many journal entries to draw from.
After journaling at least fifty entries, I found that I developed something of a habit, and I journaled more and more regularly for the rest of 2024. Through journaling, I have learned a lot about myself and the way that my mind works. I have also discovered that my writing impacts my thinking.
Are you hoping to start a journal in the new year? Here are three unexpected lessons from my experience that you may want to consider.
Audience matters
If you are writing a journal entry, you probably think about what you will write. But do you think about whom you are writing to? In my experience, I have found that my real or imagined audience matters even more to my journaling than what I write.
School: When I wrote my journal in London, this was somewhat more professional since it was for a school assignment. I talked about my personal development, but I connected this to professional, academic, and social development, rather than spiritual development.
Online: Writing my London blog posts for you all (friends, family, online acquaintances, church, writing community), I added more that I didn’t include in my assignment journal. I opened up more about what my walk with God looked like in London. I always find it very fruitful to talk to you, my blog audience, about what I am thinking and feeling, and to try to encourage you all through what I share.
Specific friends and family: Often, I process my experiences by thinking, “How would I describe this to so-and-so?” Perhaps I imagine a friend from Bible study or a sibling or an adult from church. I have even jotted down an imaginary text message in my journal app before. Having a certain person in mind makes a huge impact on how I write.
God: As I mentioned, I have journaled many prayers to God in the past. This has been a fruitful way for me to have a consistent and focused prayer time with my Heavenly Father. However, in the past, I have journaled many of my prayers in the same way that I would pray out loud in a group. I measured my words and tried to make the prayers “sound good.”
Myself: This is how I journaled after the study abroad was over. It felt like a new experience for me to write for me and me alone. I started writing what was in my head with radical honesty.
Becoming radically honest with myself
When I talk with or write for someone else, I always have this nagging need to protect some sort of image I have created for myself. I need to be seen as organized, put together, mature, wise. I need to be seen as someone who can take care of herself. Even if I am opening up about struggles, I need others to see that I’m ok. I’m always ok. I can’t have anyone worrying about me.
Writing just for myself is a different experience. I can express thoughts that are disorganized, chaotic, needy, foolish, dark, hopeless, or just embarrassing. I treat myself more as a whole person rather than pushing myself into a mold.
This semester, I have been learning to be more honest with myself than I ever have. It is a huge step for me. For the first time, I am taking my mental health seriously rather than overlooking my concerns.
But I’m not only becoming more honest with myself—I am also becoming more honest with God. My journaling for myself has helped me grow in my prayer life. As I become more vulnerable in my journal entries, I am also becoming more vulnerable when I pray to my Father. I don’t need to “sound good”—I can tell Him anything.
I am even becoming more honest in my friendships. Journaling is a way for me to process what I am thinking and feeling before I share it with a trusted friend. The more I practice putting words to my feelings, the easier it is to share these feelings with others. After I started journaling about my mental health, I was able to pray a lot more about it, pray for wisdom in how I dealt with it, and God tugged me to share what I was experiencing with trusted people He put in my life. I found insight and clarity.
Writing guides thinking
Writing for myself didn’t just teach me to write in a radically honest way. It taught me to think in a radically honest way.
I used to have a hard time processing my feelings, especially if it seemed that nothing should be wrong. I would try to convince myself that I was ok even if I wasn’t. But through journaling, I realized that it’s ok to not be ok. I learned to admit this to myself.
But writing doesn’t just reflect what I think—it guides what I think. I have written many journal entries with the sole purpose of taking junk out of my head and putting it away somewhere. This taught me to be honest with myself. Now, I’m learning that writing about my despair may encourage my despair. I also need to write with hope to inspire gospel hope-led thinking.
Back in high school, I used to share a lot of what I was thinking and feeling through blogging. My thinking influenced my writing, and writing for you influenced the way I processed my thoughts. And it was edifying and encouraging for me to write to you all, because you reminded me to write with hope.
For that reason, I hope to blog more. I’m not making any promises, but I would really like to blog a little more often in 2025. I would like to take the honesty that I have learned from journaling for myself, and express some of that in writing for you. I want to share about my struggles and the gospel hope that lies beyond them.
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